I feel the cold, and the loneliness. May be I should consider to go back. 9 years since I leave home. Recently, every failure comes with an injury, and the worst comes with a scar. The spot of the scar is still very weak, same as the spot in my heart. I can't decide to stay, or to leave. Physical pain and mental pain, I feel both, the supporting pillar in my heart, collapse one after another, now only two left in the end. A good structure would usually be supported by at least 3 pillars, but there are only two now, yet one of them is looking fragile. I will see what can I do. May be I would be living happily if I chose not to take up the scholarship, chose not to fight to be the top tier group of the society. I want a simple but loving life, but I am now fighting for career and money. Ironic.